What I Wish I Knew When My Kids Were Young

Jen Wheeler, Amara Durham, Steeve Gruber, Susan Bailey and Anne McPherson

At the TAG Program on 11/7/16 "What I Wish I Knew When My Kids Were Young" a panel of experienced parents shared their wit and wisdom. Among the advice were the following tidbits:

1. Be open-minded about your child's choices for extracurricular activities. Know what your child is capable of and his/her limits. Encourage him/her to get involved in a group activity. This will be their friend group in high school. 
2. Even when your child is ready to quit an activity, give him/her the freedom to do that even though all of your mom friends are still in that activity. 
3. Try and get rid of that one activity that is wreaking havoc or exhausting your family. 
4. To keep your kids from getting too stressed out, make sure they are getting enough sleep. 
5. Friend group changes are normal during and after middle school. Kids usually make friends with the other students in their activity such as band, football, choir or theater. 
6. Know your child and trust his/her judgement. 
7. Don't pressure your kids on grades. They are under so much pressure from their peer group too. They do not need the extra stress from their parents. 
8. One way to stay connected with your children is to schedule a family dinner most evenings. A fun tip is to have everyone at the table tell 3 things that happened during the day, but only 2 things should be true. It's up to the family to identify the false statement. 
9. Don't be fixated on your child's grades being in the top 10%. It's not that important. They all get into college. 
10. Don't stress if your child doesn't get into TAG. They can still take pre-ap and AP(advanced placement) classes. 
11. Have a curfew for your child. 
12. Download Uber on their phone
13. So they can have a ride home any time they need it. 
14. Let your kid just be. Allow them to tell you how they are. 
15. Create a family mission statement. If you know who you are, you can determine what you want. 
16. Create a family agreement. 
17. Effort over outcome. Progress vs. perfection. 
18. Listen to your kids. 
19. Have self-worth. Respect your body. 
20. Help your kids develop resilience by allowing them to fail. 
21. When something bad happens to your child react in love, not in fear. 
22. Be careful with parental expectations & don't stress out your kids. 
23. Don't worry too much about how your child acts when they are 6, because it isn't who they will be at 18. 
24. Get off their backs!